My Testimony
Come and hear, all you fear God, and I will tell you what He has done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
“I’ll go when I get myself together.”
Those were the words I repeated every time a friend invited me to church. What I didn’t realize then—but know to be true now—is that God was never waiting for me to fix myself. He was simply waiting for my surrender. Because He alone is the One who makes us whole.
Growing up, I heard the name of God, but I didn’t yet know what it truly meant to have a personal relationship with Jesus—one where He wasn’t just a concept, but the Lord of my heart.
My life wasn’t outwardly “the worst,” but inwardly, I carried many hidden struggles. My father abandoned me at a young age, and that wound quietly shaped so many of my choices. It led to unhealthy attachments in relationships, poor boundaries, and a distorted view of my self-worth. I searched for love in all the wrong places and didn’t honor my body as the temple God created it to be.
The ache of wondering why he didn’t want me left deep voids in my heart. My mother worked tirelessly to raise my brother and me, and though she gave us what she could, I still compared our lives to others. I longed for the things I didn’t have—and eventually, I began to seek validation through achievement, approval, and perfectionism. I developed a relentless drive to prove myself, believing that if I could just check enough boxes, I would finally feel worthy.
But I never did.
Then in 2008, everything changed.
After endless invitations from a persistent neighbor, I finally attended a young adult conference. I didn’t walk down an aisle. There was no dramatic altar moment. But something far more powerful happened—I encountered Truth. Sitting in that room, hearing the gospel preached, I could no longer deny the power of Jesus Christ. The reality of His sacrifice for my sins broke through every wall I had built.
And in that quiet moment, I surrendered.
I walked out feeling lighter than I had ever felt in my life—as though an invisible weight had been lifted from my soul. Without hesitation, I called my best friend and told her, “Something is different. I’m different.” And I was. My new life had begun.
From that day forward, the Holy Spirit began a slow, intentional work of transformation in me. By God’s grace, I began breaking free from destructive cycles. I walked away from relationships that no longer nurtured my soul. I released behaviors that once held me captive—not out of obligation, but out of love and obedience. I came to understand the truth that “a little leaven leavens the whole lump” (Galatians 5:9)—that compromise, no matter how small, always impacts the whole heart.
I am not perfect. But I walk daily with the Perfect One. And His grace sustains me—every single day.
If I could offer you one piece of counsel from my journey, it would be this: embrace the process. When you sense the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit, don’t resist it. Surrender to it. There is undeniable freedom on the other side of yielding.
For me, this has never been about rules or religion.
It’s about relationship.
When I look back over my life now, I can see the fingerprints of God in every broken place—every failed relationship, disappointment, insecurity, and detour. Each one led me closer to His heart. This path is not always easy. In fact, following Christ may sometimes intensify the refining. But I can say with full confidence: choosing to walk with the Lord is a decision you will never regret.
Everything I am—and everything I have—is the result of His boundless love.
“I love much because I’ve been forgiven much.” (Luke 7:47)
And I thank my Father for loving me enough to choose me.
If you’re reading this and you feel the stirring in your own heart—know that God is not waiting for you to become perfect. He’s simply inviting you to come as you are. Your surrender could be the starting point of your own transformation.
